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. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.“Hanging myself,” the blond replies.“It should be around your neck” says the guard.“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t breathe”.( This one actually makes sense ... well, sort of... )An Italian tourist asks a blond man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”To which the blond man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A guy is walking along Whyte Avenue when he comes across a lamp partially buried in a garbage can.He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.The guy thinks for a moment and says, “I want to live forever.”“Sorry,” said the genie, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal life.”“OK, then, I want to die after the Liberals balance the budget and eliminate the debt.”“You crafty little bastard,” said the genie.These Are Compliments of John AA teenager had just gotten her learners. The girls turned around to see Ruth pulling a blouse closed to cover a bra."Sit down," Ruth ordered nodding towards the table.Mandy and Beth walked to the dinette and sat. They stared at Ruth expectantly. Ruth just stared back as she finished buttoning her blouse.Tim shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot and looked at the front door longingly. "Uh, maybe I should..." he started."Forget it," Ruth snapped angrily still looking at the girls. Her gaze shifted to Tim and could see the near panic in his face. Her face softened and she smiled. "Don't worry Tim. These two are dangerous but I've never heard of them being lethal." She chuckled before continuing in her bass voice. "Besides, it looks like we'll need to announce our plans a little earlier than scheduled and I will definitely need your moral support with these too."Tim's eyes were on the front door but they seemed to be pulled by a rope until he was looking at Ruth. His face softened too and lost some of the panic Ruth had seen.
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